Blake going to kindergarten???

Tomorrow at 12:30 Blake will have his Kindergarten screening and while I know he is smart enough to go to school in the fall. And even though he will only be 5 for less than a month before school begins I know he is ready.
His teachers at preschool are impressed on how quick he has picked things up and if he don't succeed the first try he wants to keep trying. This morning he wanted a pen and paper and said he was going to write his last name and he sure enough did so he can now write his first and last name!

With all of that being known I am a ball of nerves about tomorrow, worried he will get shy or freak out with all the new people but I have to hide that and encourage him to do well. So I hope that Monday I can make a post that he will indeed be attending Kindergarten in August 2010!

Goodbye scale goodbye

Why is it that we can let a number on the scale rule our life?? Depending on its reading depends on what you eat drink and how you feel that day.


I have no idea on how many years I have let the number on the scale dictate my mood for the day. I will weigh morning noon and night and lots of times in between when I am trying to get to a certain number. Back in Highschool I wanted the number to read 100 or below thought that would be a “good” weight. Now I just want to be the number I was when we got married 6 and a half years ago.

The scale has became an unhealthy relationship for me, but saying goodbye is hard and causes anxiety. Right before my birthday I had decided to cut off the ties with the scale and limit to only weighing a couple times a week, and to not let that number determine my moods. Well the day of my birthday Sunday April 25th my scale died, I got on it that morning as I always do and found that it was reading odd numbers and not giving an accurate reading. Of course my husband quickly says well we will get batteries when we go to the store tonight. He has never really found it odd that I weigh so much but I have done this since we started dating back in October 1998. Luckily he didn’t remember the batteries and I didn’t mention it because I am not going to replace them anytime soon.

I noticed that Blake has watched me on the scale numerous times and he now wants to weigh to see how much he has grown each time he is in the bathroom. That is NOT a habit I want him to have. We have talked to him about why we are over weight and why its important that he eats healthy now and limits junk and soda to special occasions. He wants to be just like daddy which is great but we don’t want him to have a weight problem. Its hard to lead as a good example for your child when you struggle each day to make the right choices and were never taught the importance of healthy eating and exercising.

So as stressful as it is I no longer have a scale to get on numerous times a day and night at home, its been extremely hard not knowing what my number is but I have to learn to focus on how I feel inside and out and how my clothes fit.

If you stumble... make it a part of your dance

I got a really nice thoughtful gift from co-workers today, and it was totally unexpected. My birthday is Sunday and usually at work the norm is card maybe some candy or a pie from Slice of Pie. I really wasn't expecting even a card just from the mood of the office the past few weeks.

So as I sat at my desk working I got a pink gift bag which contained a card, chocolates and a little wooden frame with this saying If you stumble... make it part of your dance. The quote on the gift couldn't have came at a better time. Since getting our new software program I haven't mastered the workings of it and it frustrates me daily. Also there has been alot of other things going on I am trying to make sense of. The nice gift is sitting right next to my monitor at work and will remain there for me to look at daily when things get tense.

I haven't tried the candy yet as my boss went to Slice of Pie and got a fresh apple crisp pie and vanilla ice cream. I told her it was a good thing that my birthday didn't happen last week because I would have really needed that duct tape to make the dress fit!

The current week and the upcoming weekend

This has been a very odd week for me, work is busy and stressful. We have a new computer software program I am not getting the hang of which frustrates me to no end. I very much dislike not being able to do something. I have had lots of mental battles going on in my head that I am trying to sort out. After last week on going very crazy with food and exercise I am trying hard to get back in the right groove. I have been alternating walking at lunch with going to tan and making sure I bring my lunch. Today it looks dreary but the stress I have endured with work this morning I could care less if I get soaked I am walking/jogging.

This Sunday is my birthday and while I am not excited about turning 27 I am not upset either its just another year and another birthday. Kenny isn't big in to celebrating birthdays or anniversaries so it will be just another ordinary Sunday. Saturday Blake gets to go farm with his April and Mike he has been counting down the days for weeks. He told me I had to make sure his farming jeans were clean and that he was wearing his farming cowboy boots. I know that April and Mike are just as excited to get to spend time with him and I am sure he will be telling them all sorts of tall tales. Then that night he will stay with Connie and Dwayne and watch cartoons with Connie the next morning and who knows what all they will do before we come to pick him up Sunday afternoon. But I am sure he will have a great time and have lots of stories to tell.

Oh my how Blake has grown in a year

Last summer when Blake got his fourwheeler for his 4th birtday he could barely touch the foot pegs. But not even a full year later he is reaching them with ease. He no longer has to stretch to reach the brakes and has gotten the hang of how to ride. If he watches his Uncle Mark to much he wants to do donuts and wheelies just like Mark which is fine when he gets to be a lot older than 4.

My in-laws bought him the fourwheeler to keep at their house since they have a big yard and live on a gravel road. But I think this year we will get to be the ones to buy him a big present. Blake has played on a trampline a few times and really wants one so I think that he will have one set up in the yard when we come home from his birthday weekend.
Oh and I secretly want a trampline too, I loved mine when I was young and miss it. Plus its a good workout!!

Last weekend

Here is a picture from the wedding I was in last Saturday. It was a very pretty wedding and with a little duct tape my dress fit great.
The day was long but was good, I loved how my hair was fixed and my jewelry we wore. Oh and my shoes were awesome and I wore them the entire night! Now I have to try and find a dress that will match them so I can wear them some more.

What a week this has been

Last week was stressful playing the role of single mommy. But we managed and survived it. The weekend was busy with having family time and driving around getting bids for our new house which we are super close to having them all in yay!!!



This weekend will be just as busy, I am in a wedding on Saturday the rehearsal is Friday night after work. I am apprehensive on how I look and feel in my dress everyone that has either seen me in it and those I have emailed a picture to say I look great. Just not sure if I believe them or if I am getting an honest opinion. But I always second guess how I look and feel in things so its really nothing new per say but it’s the first time I have became OCD about it in a long time.

All week I have been restricting food and getting in extra workouts and burning as many calories as I can to shed a few more pounds before Saturday and well the hard work is paying off because the dress fit today and didn’t have much trouble zipping it. But I am not going to let my guard down because Saturday is still far off and I want to lose a couple more pounds just so I can have breathing room in the dress. I hope to get a good picture of me all dressed up and will post it next week.


Blake is starting to catch on when we tell him he can’t have something because its not good for him or its junk food and he has started asking daddy why he drinks soda if its not good for you??? It’s a good question we want our kids to grow up eating healthy or as healthy as possible and not drink soda daily just for special outings but yet we drink it and eat junk and he notices. I was never allowed to have soda at home only got to drink it when we went out to eat on Friday nights and I still to this day rarely drink more than one a day if that. Although mountain dew is hard to give up once you get started on it you crave it daily. So I think this summer I will really work on our food habits now that Blake is learning what is good healthy food and what isn’t. I am thankful he’s one of those kids who don’t like to eat junk until he gets sick and really the only candy he does like are m&m’s and Hershey bars.

Nathans big accomplishment of the week…. He started saying momma and bubba its so darn cute. He will start saying bubba when he wakes up until he sees Blake and then he smiles real big. He is also becoming more efficient crawling and exploring rooms.

Nathan's first haircut, and the long week

Well this has been one long crazy week. But its coming to an end, I am glad to know that in two more days I will be back to my normal schedule. Won't be as stressed and worried about everything and everyone. There are lots of evenings/weeks that Kenny isn't home before kids bedtime and it never really bothered me much, but that is probably because I knew he was a phone call away and if something should happen he could be there. Well since he is 6 hours away its all on me to handle everything and I have done pretty darn good this week. I have been able to keep the house in order keep both kids happy and fed, oh and I was even able to do some packing away of magazines that he is deadset on keeping but have no offical home so they now have a home in a box!

Tonight is kindergarten registration so we will go to that so I can get all the paperwork filled out and set a date for his screening. Still amazes me that they do this so early and I was so totally not ready. I figured it would be end of summer before all of this took place and that we would be moved but I just have to go with the flow and hope that Blake is truely ready for big kid school. He is so excited about kindergarten and getting to ride the big bus. I on the other hand am a bit nervous on him riding the bus as I remember very vividly my first year riding the bus and remember it was super scary and there were so many people everywhere. But I am sure he will do great and I can't let him see my fears on the whole situation.

Last night I took the boys for haircuts, yes Nathan got his first big boy haircut. His hair is super thick and long and I couldn't stand it being in his eyes getting tangled so bad and he always gets food in it. I feel for the friends of mine with girls and long hair I dont know how you can deal with the knots and tangles. It was hard to get good pictures as we had him sitting in the chair by himself and I was holding him with one hand and snapping pictures with the other.

Here he was after getting the top cut, he suprisingly sat there like a champ never fussed or squirmed!



And I have attached a picture of him after church on Easter the trip home his boots came off so I want to take more of him with his boots and jeans on. But he was a super cute little cowboy!

The big scare last night!

Blake hasn't wanted to sleep in his bed or his room since before Nathan was born. He takes spells like this at times and he usually sleeps somewhere in the living room. It bothers me but with being up every two hours with Nathan every night the past 6 months I have let it slide and let him sleep wherever and knowing he gets a good nights rest is more important than him not sleeping and being crabby at school.
Well there has been a few times in the past year he has sleep walked and it freaks me out because teh first time I thought he was awake since his eyes were open but he wasn't communicating with me when I asked questions. So the second time I just turned him around and he went back to bed usually when he does this he is crying and screaming for me or Kenny.

Well last night about did me in, he fell asleep around 9:30 and he was so tired from playing outside all weekend (and he only does this when he is over tired thank goodness). He wanted to sleep in the living room floor, and Nathan and I were on the couch sleeping. Nathan had been having congestion so I prop him up on the couch and I sleep on the other end, well try to sleep because I am always checking on the kids. Anyway I fell asleep sometime after 10:30 and next thing I knew I heard Blake crying and screaming for me. He sounded distant so I got up and started my search by the time I got halfway to the kitchen I heard the door slam shut. I started yelling for Kenny to wake up telling him Blake is outside and its raining and he is crying. I am half awake not sure if Blake went out alone or if someone had came in our house and took him. Kenny finaly got up and I was outside running across the porch trying to catch Blake well Kenny passed me and picked him up just as he was almost to my car and the driveway. He was out of it had no idea he was outside or why he went out. We got him back in and woke up and he said he was looking for us and couldn't find us. My heart was racing well actually we both were scared to death. I am not sure what woke me up but I am glad I did I dont even want to think about what could have happened if I hadn't heard him.
So we put the kitchen chair in by the door so he would run in to it if he did it again (hope it never ever happens again) The lock on that door is odd, when its locked the inside knob still turns and you have no idea its locked unless you are outside. Good note check that before we buy our new locks for our new house. Plus I want a lock way up high on all exterior doors. Needless to say I didnt sleep much the rest of the night and I made him sleep in the floor right by Nathan and I so I could easily see where he was. This morning I asked him if he remembered it and he said we woke him up and that he dont know why he was outside.

Nathan is crawling!

Nathan was 6 months old on March 26 and had been working on crawling backward about a week before. Well over the weekend he has mastered going forward and does it pretty quick. Now Blake will have to be sure to keep all small toys up off the floor and learn to share his big toys. Blake was closer to 8 months when he started crawling good so Nathan is a bit ahead there. He loves to stand so I figure he may be an early walker as well which is ok by me. I have been packing away all the baby clothes and hope to find someone interested in them and in maternity clothes as I am now done with them and see no reason to keep them around taking up space.
Its unreal on how fast they grow and change, I tried getting a good picture of Nathan and Blake side by side so I can see how much they both have changed since Nathan was born but neither one wanted to cooperate yesterday. But when I get the picture I will be sure to post it!
Lots of people have said its emotinal packing away baby stuff but I was fine with it and excited to see him grow and change and cant wait for when Blake and Nathan can play trucks together and be cowboys together. Oh and sleeping thru the night will be a big plus :)

Easter weekend and the upcoming week

We had a very busy weekend and got to take advantage of the nice weather. Saturday morning we got up super early and headed to Freeburg and picked up our materials bid for our house. Then we went to the bank and got the paperwork sarted and spoke to the loan officer. After that we headed to Rolla to get groceries for the upcoming week then home to work outside. Nathan loved being outside and just sat quietly in his stroller for over 2 hours.
Yesterday the kids and I went to church and they looked cute, as the Easter Bunny brought them both a pair of wranglers. Blake was not very well behaved in church which is unusal but having both kids and just me I couldn't just take him out to the hall thankfully Nathan was super good and was content in his carseat for most of the service. After we got home we went and put up our new mailbox where our new house will be built so we are officially started :)
Later we messed around outside and Nathan sat in his swing for hours just watching us work in the yard and he liked watching Blake ride his bike. The weather was so nice we were able to hang out several loads of laundry to dry which saved quite a bit of money by not using the dryer!!
We grilled quite  bit of meat so Blake and I wont have to cook much this week which is good since today at noon Kenny will be leaving for Chicago for schooling on a new Nissan that will be coming out and wont be home until late Friday night.

I am a bit worried on being able to handle it all alone this week, Blake was pushing every last button I had this weekend so I hope he has it all out of his system and will do good all week for me. I know I am capable of doing it all on my own I just hope and pray I have the strength to hold it together and not let stress get to me. Hopefuly the weather will be nice and I can bring the kids to the park or take them on a walk of an evening.

As soon as I bring my camera to upload pictures I will try to post some of the weekend.