Almost the big 30......

Its within hours of me turning the big 30 not sure why this number has bothered me so much. No other ages have bothered me. 18 you were an adult... 21 your car insurance went down and you could buy a drink.. 25 I had a party and celebrated with other friends who had April birthdays around me. But something about 30 bugs me to no end.

Guess in my mind I had ideas of where would be what kind of person I would be. That I would be at goal weight and wear __ size of pants and see _____ number on the scale. I won't fill in what those numbers are because honestly they are unrealistic.

A few people close to me know about my issue with turning 30. I have had some positive feed back from them as well. I was told by one good friend that I have changed a lot since we reconnected a few years back. Another told me 30 is the new 20 :). Some said age is just a number it doesn't define you.

So I have took time and have done a lot of thinking and yes I have accomplished a lot. I have accomplished a lot in the last year:
-My first ever 5k last June and several since
-My first ever half marathon in October
-Applied for and finished EMT school graduated top of class
-Officially joined the fire department
-Learned to stand up for myself and get a thicker skin (well still a work in progress but way better than a year ago)
-Jumped out of my comfort zone several times
-Made some amazing new friends
-Applied for and got my first EMT job at the district I wanted to work for.

But there are things I haven't accomplished that are in the back of my mind.
-Getting my distorted eating thoughts and actions completely under control
-Learning the triggers for it and learning to stop it before the cycle takes off
-Being negative and letting negative thoughts of others affect me
-First obstacle course race (doing one in May and don't feel ready)
-Running a full 5k non stop (fear is stopping me and haven't figured out how to get around it)
I'm sure I could list way more in this but I won't

Not sure what tomorrow will bring trying to not get excited as I know its a day of work then home to do laundry clean and cook. I will be surprised if my mom calls me this year since she "forgot" last year. And I don't want to get excited and then disappointed either. Trying to make Saturday a fun day for my husband and I as  its my only day off for quite awhile and lately it seems we never see or talk to each other.