Not sure how to title this..........

Not really sure how to title this post or if I am really ready to write it yet.

Last week I took a few days off from my full time job and wasn't scheduled at my EMT job. Those were some good days. However if I stayed home and not super busy while there thoughts started catching up with me. Guess I still haven't delt with my Grandpa's passing easier to stay busy and keep ahead of those thoughts. Plus I am still trying to make sure Grandma is ok and dealing with it all, so far I think she has been.

Saturday morning I went to help with an auction for the fire dept. It was a last minute one the auction company called us to do and we were short handed but not a big deal. In between cooking I was standing with one of my best friends and she and I were wanting to bid on some cool old jars. Well about that time my phone rang and got a phone call I wasn't expecting at all..... Kenny called to tell me his Grandma passed away. We weren't expecting it at all she was older had some health issues but nothing to make you think ok any day could be the day. I was shocked and trying to take it all in, Kenny and I have been together for 15 years. My mom and her were best friends for over 25 years so for 25 years she has been a part of my life and the last 15 an even bigger part. I had rode to the auction with another friend so I didn't have my car. Luckily one of our guys was heading home early to prep for a party for his daughter and I went back to Vichy with him.

She had been living in a nursing home for a couple months and had adjusted and seemed to enjoy it. They had Bingo which was one of her favorite pass times for years however at the nursing home you win a quarter and well she didn't care much for that! She was used to winning big (100.00) money when you won! Well I got to my in laws house and was told the funearal home wasn't picking her up until her daughter from St. Louis got there to see her..... She had been dead several hours and they asked me what to expect. Before we headed to the nurisng home a very good family friend Connie stopped by my in laws. Was surprised but so very glad to see her and of course the boys were happy to see their Nonna :) Kenny, me and his two aunts headed to the nurising home and the boys headed home to Nonna's for a bit I am so so glad she took the boys to play as they were confused and not sure what all was going on.

I am NOT a fan of nursing homes they always smell and feel grimy yucky however I was impressed with this one it didn't have that nursing home smell or feel to it. After we saw her the funeral home guy was there to pick her up. He was alone which I thought was odd (they sent two when my grandpa passed but it was a different funeral home). I asked the guy if he needed help and he was like well I can try to get the nursing home staff to help. Well in the time we had been there I hadn't seen ONE employee. So I said ok lets do this which one of the aunts was like well you can't  help him I said yep I can and I will. Kenny stayed in there with us and helped some but I knew it was hard and he only stayed because I did. I helped the guy get her moved and then covered and out to his vehicle. He was grateful for my help and I was glad to help him. On our amublance runs we are always glad for an extra set of hands when we are busy or have to much going on so it was nice to know I could help someone out.

I worked a 24 hour shift on Sunday at the ambulance and tried napping in between the phone calls and texts from people wanting to say how sorry they were and ask about arrangements. Mable was a staple in our commuity for years all of us kids in our area grew up with her as a part of our life. She owned a  small bar in Vichy for years and years and most weekends there were more kids there than adults. Our parents would visit and have a good time while us kids played outside and inside on the pool table and pac man games. Oh and played many a songs on the juke box most of us still can hear a song on the radio and know which number it is on the juke box.
Monday morning I met Kenny his aunts mom and cousin to go to the funeral home to set arrangements. It was a long process that was very hard but I do believe she will have a visitation and service she would smile about. Of course those that knew her knows she would find one thing to not like but that was just how she was.

After sitting there for 2 hours going over that it made me glad I didn't have to do the same thing with my Grandma a month prior. It felt odd not having a funeral for my Grandpa but yet he knew what he wanted and what he was doing. And know that he was right that Grandma wouldn't have been able to withstand a visitation and funeral after his passing.

So my time off work started nice but ended sadly and now I have to be strong for Kenny and his family all the while trying to figure out how to deal with this on top of Grandpa... And of course my mind is jumping everywhere wondering if Grandma will be next and it scares the tar out of me.