Stress

Lately I feel as if I have been running in circles and getting nothing accomplished. I want/need to lose 20 pounds by the first part of February totally a doable number if I can get life to work in my favor. But as I am writing this I am working through my lunch hour once again just trying to make a dent in my workload, I would rather be working out. I would love to get up early of a morning and workout before getting the kids up and ready but I realized that when you only get 2-3 hours of sleep and work full time there is no energy to do more than the necessary daily duties.

Work has been extra crazy and causing more stress than I need or want, I have been doing ok with managing it and not letting it get the best of me until today. Today I feel like I could just tear someone’s head off. I have realized that I am a stress eater, yesterday I was stressed and ate half of a king size kit kat and a few mini snickers bars. Today I told myself that I would not let it get the best of me and I sit here drinking half of a pepsi. Which throws off my whole no soda thing I have been doing and I made it 3 weeks, but I didn’t drink a Mountain Dew which is really what I had wanted to drink and I didn’t have a chance to have my daily coffee. None of which makes up for the fact I fell off the wagon.

Stress at home isn’t much better than work stress, we tore the living room apart to see if we could find a leak mind you that was last Monday and Kenny has yet to put the couch back or the end tables and its driving me totally bananas having the entire living room out of whack and our house is so small that one thing out of place throws the whole room in to distress. I wont even mention the kitchen table that has became his hunting crap collect all this week.

I really need to find a way to relieve stress before it builds up to the point it is now, I know its not healthy to be so anxious and upset each day and it sure isn’t doing any wonders for the scale each morning. I have been trying to make time for me to do things I need to do or want to do but its impossible now that we have two kids and I am back to work. By the time I get up get everyone ready leave drop Nathan off then drop Blake off head to work and be there all day pick up Blake and then go pick up Nathan and get home its well after 6pm fix dinner and do dishes its after 8. Then its time to get Blake in bed and then try to get Nathan to fall asleep either on the couch or pack n play and hope and pray that he stays asleep longer than an hour so I can get the lunches made and clothes laid out for the next day. Usually by the time that is done Nathan is awake and hungry again so I feed him try to get him to want to sleep in the pack n play and I usually end up with him on my lap most of the night.

I think I could go on an on about more stress that is going on but I will stop with what I have already mentioned. I just feel like I am drowning with no end in sight.