First day of School pictures

Blake before we headed to his first day of school

Yes I meant to take the picture crooked.

Blake seems to really like school and even likes the bus ride. He likes to sit by himself since he don't know any of the kids. This morning I noticed he sat with the boy that gets on at daycare with him. I hope that he finds friends on the bus and good influences not older ones that will try to get him in trouble.

He said the lunchroom is super loud and nothing like eating lunch at preschool which was more quiet and calm. So far he has wanted to take his lunch each day which is fine with me but I think he will find the school has some things he wants to try so we go over the school menu each night.

Adjusting to having a kindergartner was tough last week but today seems to be much better. Blake is super excited to play soccer and asks if he will know anyone on his team. I hope that some of his friends are on his team as he would love it even more. I know nothing about soccer and trying to buy his soccer socks and shin guards yesterday left me even more clueless. Thanks to a great friend who helped me out via text he is all set and ready.

Nathan has cried the last 3 mornings I dropped him off and I think because he got so used to Blake being with him all day he hasn't adjusted yet, plus we are up a lot earlier than normal. The sitter said Nathan lights up when Blake walks in from the bus and is excited and goes straight for him.

First Day of School

I was a bit anxious last night as I was getting everything together and worried I would forget something and sleep didn't come real easy. This morning I woke up calm with no knots in my stomach I got everything done and ready just as if I had been doing this for months. Blake woke up happy and eager to leave for school, I was worried that once we got to school his attitude would change. I was pleasantly surprised that he was ok being left at school he was a bit sad and confused as he was unsure of his surroundings but he gave us each a hug and kiss and sat down to play with his friend.

I managed to not shed a tear, well not yet anyway. I came to work and have been continuously busy all morning, but looking at the clock counting down the hours until I get off to pick him up from the sitter and hear about his first day. I am a bit sad that the sitter will hear about his day first, wishing I would have scheduled today off so I could pick him up and hear all about it. A friend of mine said she would send me a text or picture when she picks her girls up on how their day was.

Blake is officially no longer a toddler or a preschooler, he is a kindergartner and seems pretty proud of his accomplishment. I am going to ask him if he would like to play soccer this fall, he really wanted to play t-ball and I should have let him but I hope he thinks soccer is fun as well. This is a whole new experience for me being the mom of a school age child who will want to have sleep overs with friends and go to birthday parties of friends. Will be an adjustment but I am sure we will manage and in 4 short years I will be doing this with Nathan.

Hope to get pictures uploaded of him this morning before we left.

One of those days......

Today has been one of those days where I question why do I put myself thru the stress of this job? To leave at 5 in a horrible mood stressed to the max to pick up the boys and then to try and stay calm and level headed the rest of the night. I like my job or should I say used to but I am getting burned out I have been working overtime stressing over it day and night and on weekends. Our live is super busy without me stressing about the files sitting on my desk at work during the evening night and weekends.
Days like today make me wonder am I in the right place right career or is there something that would suit me better? I am not one who likes to change jobs nor have to be the new person in the office, but I don't know how much longer I can take the stress level I have now.
I am not a happy person anymore and it shows at work and at home, no matter how hard I try to put on that happy face something small will set me in a tailspin and there goes the happy face. I don't like how I feel and that Blake told me that I am a grouchy mommie, but I am not sure what to do anymore.

The economy is not the greatest to be looking for a different job in such a small town, or to find a job that makes close to what I make now. With building a new house I have to keep a job to be able to pay extra on bills and to have money to pay for the kids and myself health insurance. Keep thinking to myself if I would have done something differently years ago would I have been able to work part time and stay home with the kids to save money and stress on finding good childcare.

Maybe tomorrow will be better and maybe not but I have to put on my happy face and go get my kiddos and enjoy their company while I cook dinner and do bedtime routines.

Survived Open House

Last night we went to Blake's school for open house and for him to meet his teacher and for the parents to fill out piles of paperwork (or should I say moms because there were way more moms doing the paperwork than dads) Anyway filling out papers in a crowded room with a child on your lap has gotten easier so I just blocked everything and everyone out and went to it.
Blake was excited that he knew a girl in his class and I looked at several names of students as I put away his art box and I am pretty sure there will be kids in his class that I know the parents which is a relief to me. He of course wanted to play on the playground but it had rained and everything was wet and yucky.
He was not shy at all while in they gym he wanted to go over and say hi to a boy who goes to his daycare and he went right over, now if that would have been me at that age oh no I was stuck like glue to my mom or grandma.

But yesterday around 2 I thought I may just get sick, I had myself so worried about last night and about Thursday morning. I couldn't think straight give good answers to questions at work, my stomach was in knots. So I emailed a friend and thankfully she was able to respond quickly and helped me talk it out which was so very nice of her. By the time we got to his school I had calmed down enough to think straight and be sociable. Now if I can just hold it together tomorrow morning when I take him to his class for the first time and have to leave. I know he will be ok I am not sure my nerves will be and I am sure I will shed a tear or two on my way back to work.

I am also very glad to have great friends who love Nathan, and Blake and love to spend time with them. April picked Nathan up from me in Rolla and took him home to play. He must have had a good time he was wore out and slept good all night only woke up once to eat. Not sure what we would do with out our friends who are just like family to us.

I may make a post tomorrow sometime and I may not depends on how I cope with leaving Blake for his first day of Kindergarten. I may wait until Friday so I can post on how his whole day was and how riding the bus to day care goes.

The Frog

Oh the joys of having boys. Last night I was in the kitchen fixing dinner while cleaning up, feeding Nathan and helping Kenny decide what to do about our house construction. Blake comes in and says he needs to go to the bathroom, I am like so just go. He rarely asks he knows how to go alone and then he said he couldn't there was a frog in the toilet. I was like oh yeah right how on earth would a frog get in the toilet. So Kenny went in and checked came out and said you need to go in and see. I still thought they were joking or that Kenny had somehow brought the thing in the house and put it in the bathroom to scare me.
Anyway I went in and yep there was a tree frog in our toilet, Blake wanted to flush him down but was afraid he would jump out and land on him. So we got a bowl and a lid caught him and took him back outside. Blake was scared of the frog even though it was a small frog compared to the ones we had for the frog jumping contest.
I am still not sure how the frog got in the house and in the toilet with all of us in the kitchen, then my mind starts thinking oh my how long has it been in the bathroom hiding I could have almost stepped on it at night or not noticed it in the shower. I hope the frog decides to stay outdoors where it belongs.

Weekend + Manual Labor =Very Sore Monday

This past weekend wore me out! Not only was it super hot humid and yucky out I was outside working with my husband the whole time. Saturday he asked for my help in the afternoon so I dropped the kids off with my in-laws and headed over to our land. We raked, shoveled and leveled 1 inch white chat from 3pm until 9pm. Then I had to go pick the kids up and head to town so we could buy another rake and some more water and ice for the cooler. I was sore and didn't sleep much at all that night got up early the next morning.
Sunday Blake was faced with a tough decision to work with me, daddy and Chad or to go with Nathan's to Aprils. Being the smart boy he is he asked if he could work with daddy and Chad while Nathan and I went to church then for me to pick him up and take him to Aprils. So that is what he did. Needless to say it was hot in the shade I was sore we were all tried and we dug for hours trying to find one pipe that was "supposed" to be there and wasn't. We quit right before dark drove an hour to borrow a concrete saw then picked the kids up and headed home.

Today I am more sore than I think I have ever been, even my Jillian Michaels workout videos have never made me as sore as I am now! Guess it was a good workout but one that I will try and pass on the next time. I am all for hard work and helping build our house but finding out the second day we were going about the whole thing in a way that was ten times harder than it needed to be frustrated me a bit.

So now we are waiting on the plumber to do his thing and then the concrete guy to finish his job and boy will I be glad when his part is finally done and over with!

I am very thankful for friends who are willing to watch our kids while we build our house and enjoy every minute with them and for the friends who will give up their Sunday to come help us work. We are really starting to see who are friends are and who we can count on very quickly. Glad to know that all but one we were right about they are true friends and willing to help a friend out.

Its nice living in a small community where you do work for someone and then they return the favor by helping you with a project, in fact there are several houses we know of that was built the same way all with in a few miles of our new house. I don't think I could ever give up small town country life where you always know your neighbor.

Compliments and Patience

I have a hard time taking compliments not sure why but I do. Example someone says you look great and have lost weight, my immediate thought is to say well I still need to lose x amount instead of saying thanks. I have been working on this for quite sometime and while its hard to retrain the thought process in my head I am making progress.


Yesterday in church it was just Nathan and I, Blake wanted to ride the backhoe and help daddy work so he went with him. Nathan is a great baby but as he is learning some independence he is getting stubborn. When he gets off track on his normal routine it takes a couple days to get back on track. While I had thought that I had him back on track for sleeping and naps I was wrong. The entire service he was crabby would play then start crying and fighting a nap. He pushed every last button I had and I was on the verge of losing it. Don and Brenda tried holding him which would work for a few min. Then the last 10 min of the service I could take no more nothing made him happy. So I got up grabbed him on one hip got the diaper bag and carseat and proceeded out. As I got almost to the door Don was there offering to carry something. I knew he could tell I was about to lose it. As soon as we got outside Nathan was happy and laughing. Don told me he was proud of the mom I was and that I did great even though he could tell I was at my wits end I didn’t lose my patience. It was the first parent related comment I have received from a non family member in quite sometime and it couldn’t have came at a better time. Not to mention I don’t consider myself one to have lots of patience, but somehow I held it together yesterday.

I know I need more patience not sure how to get more but I think I am gaining on it slowly. I am also getting better at accepting compliments on parents and my kids. While I may be at my wits end thinking that they are being horrible and acting out others see them as great kids who are just kids. I think I expect to much sometimes and I don’t want to be that parent with the child who screams and throws fits in public. So far neither child has done that but it’s a fear I think all parents have.