Changes

It's time for some changes and some are long over due as well. This week I am participating in a Facebook Challenge of no sugar for a week. The hardest part of that is no soda... Lets just say the first two day were awful. Along with the fact I worked ambulance Sunday night, regular job on Monday, back to ambulance at 5:30pm to work all night then back to my regular job Tuesday then meeting right after work. But knowing I made it thru that with no soda showed me I could do it the rest of the week.
I am actually thinking about trying to stay away from soda until the end of the month. May make an exception and have one at the pig roast on Memorial Weekend but may not. Not eating anything with sugar in it left me feeling icky and nauseous first part of the week. However I found that many of the foods I eat have no sugar or only 1gram of sugar. I really figured it would be a lot harder to find foods to eat.

Breakfast still continues to be the hardest part of the day easier to just skip it vs trying to fix something healthy that I can bring with me to work.  I did break down Monday morning and buy a tub of mango strawberry Spark by Advocare.  A good friend told me that it would help with the want of soda and give natural energy. That friend works just as many hours usually more than me a week and has kids as well. So far its NOT my fountain Dr. Pepper but it tastes good gives energy and no crash later.

I don't count calories one reason being I get to focused on numbers and want a low number and get stressed out. I have loosely calculated what I have been eating this week and finding its far to low. I know I need to change that this weekend and for next week.

Another change is not letting the number on the scale dictate my mood. It had got to a number I was very ashamed of a number I have never seen in my life. I will still weigh on occasion just to see where I am at. I know I need to weigh some along with loosely counting calories so I don't end up in the spiral of eating issues.

Workouts haven't been consistent and its mainly just getting extra steps at work, more trips up the stairs and parking farther away at stores. Its a process and I know myself well enough to know I can't just up and change food, lifestyle and workouts at the same time. I need to take small steps and master one thing at a time and I know the rest will follow.

We had my Grandma's auction this past Sunday not going to lie it was hard. I kept myself busy helping cook food for the lunch stand and watching some of the stuff sell along with talking to friends. A few close friends that were there knew without asking I was struggling and were amazing to help keep my mind off things. Having that done and over is a big stress relief, my Grandma seems to be glad all the clutter is gone she can now decorate and do as she wishes in the house. That excites me that she is wanting to do and change things to the way she wants.  I know that many times when someone loses their spouse and had been married 60 years the remaining person sometimes gives up and don't want to push on. Glad to see she is just as stubborn and independent as ever!

Another change I haven't talked about is wanting to change jobs. I love love my job as an EMT and that job will stay. But I have came to realize my full time office job is a major stressor and a big factor in to my major breakdown a couple months ago. I took two days off last week and it was great I wasn't stressed frazzled or unhappy. Even with helping my grandma pack and move boxes for the auction spending hours cleaning my house just to have the mini tornados come thru and make a mess I wasn't stressed. So I am keeping my eyes open for a new full time job preferably in the medical field or in an office doing something I will enjoy. Part of the reason I picked up all shifts I could at the Ambulance was for extra money to pay off some unnecessary bills. They are almost gone which means I won't HAVE to make what I do per hour now to make it.

Also been debating on checking in to some schooling in the medical field not sure what avenue or if I will but I want to look at all options, I am young enough to still find a job I enjoy and love to do and make a career out of it.

One huge change is learning to stand up to the negative people in my life, as well as blocking out their comments. Not perfected yet but getting there. Some of the people I can walk away from and not need them and their negativity in my life but others I can't so I have to learn to let it roll off my back.

 

 

Saw this quote on pintrest this morning and its very very true! I am bad about back tracking and going back to what was comfortable even if it didn't work.

 

To many times (more than I care to county or admit) I have wanted to give up throw in the towel and say screw it. But I am not the kind of person to quit or walk away from things I want. Thankfully I had a couple of good friends that saw I wanted to give up and helped me thru. I also had friends walk away during that time. 

Long rambling post and sorry to bore everyone but I need to write my thoughts down get them out of my mind and off my chest so I can follow thru with my changes.