Counting the days.......

I am counting the days until  my next Dr. Appt...... 22 left and I hope he tells me its healed and I can get back to my normal routine and busy life.

Never ever do I ever want to break another bone or fracture anything the rest of my life. I don't do well being told sorry you can't drive you can't work your emt job and well you can't do much of anything you normally do.

Who would have thought a person would miss working out and miss getting runs/walks in on lunch breaks. Now all those days that I opted not to go I wish I would have just went because now I can't and it sucks.

Then there's the little things like not being able to carry much of anything oh and missing out on my occasional morning fountain dr peppers. My husband don't get that fountain soda is better than the bottle or why I am picky on which gas station my fountain drink comes from. Maybe its just me and I am weird who knows.

My mood has been really really blah the last two weeks and lots of the negative thoughts that I had worked so hard to block out came flooding back. On top of that there's eating and trying to make myself eat. In my mind if I eat and can't move around and exercise I will gain tons of weight.

I haven't been on a scale since May 28 and its making me crazy not knowing my weight. I honestly think its the first time since I was probably 10 that I have went this long without weighing.. Yes that's 20 years...

This last week I begged and pleaded to get to go to the auction on Saturday. Most people thought it was a dumb idea even though it was no different sitting in a lawn chair than on the couch alone at home. By Friday my husband told me that if I could find a ride there and home I could go but that he wasn't happy about it. Of course was no problem finding a ride so at 5:45 am I got out of the house for a whole day for the auction and got home after 7 that night.

Who knew getting out and with friends could improve your mood and attitude I behaved myself and stayed in the lawn chair 98% of the day. Friends that were real close to me knew how much I needed to get out and do the auction and knew it would help my mood. I still hated having to ask anyone to bring me something to drink or eat which was silly. They all asked me tons of times the whole day if I needed something. Made me realize that I have some pretty great friends.

I am getting steadier on the crutches but they still SUCK big time my underarms no longer hurt but the palms of my hands do but I am no longer dying when I get to where I am going. Makes me sooooo glad that I had been working out and had done lots of cardio and glad for all the pushups I had been doing.

I did get some sun on Saturday so I will have a nice tan on one whole leg and upper part of the other and all of my arms well once the red goes away.

I had been told for months that I needed to slow down that I was trying to do way to much maybe if I would have listened to them I wouldn't be where I am now. I know everything happens for a reason but well not sure about this reason. One friend tells me its to learn patience and to let go and let others help (I am still failing in this area) and one friend told me its good for my husband to see what I really do and how much I do. However the stuff that's not getting done that I normally do is piling up and driving me crazy. But I am trying not to worry about it to much.

Very ready for July 2nd to get here and I will be counting down the days and have already decided that my time of obstacle course racing is probably over. May try a mud run next year but thinking the foam runs or color runs may just have to be my "fun" races.